QUEEN’S HALL TO DUNADD VIA WOODSTOCK AND GOVAN
Innellan vs Mid-Argyll Sunday 14th August
Confusion reigned last Sunday morning
as Innellan Cricket Club met at the Queen’s Hall to set out
for Dunadd to play Mid-Argyll. An extra player had
arrived. Who was this man?
Not club treasurer Higgins spotted
heading for a ferry in tie dyed t-shirt, stripy flares and
pink bandana to accompany minor 70’s rock star Eddie Cavin
(anybody remember him?) to the Country Joe and the Fish
concert (anybody remember them?). Surely the worst excuse
this, or any, season for being not available to play.
No. Step forward Malky Dunn - who had
obviously been tipped off that the opposition would be
blooding two 12 year olds and had seen the chance to keep up
his relentless pursuit of the bowling trophy.
Dunn went home saying that he would
quite happily watch his Govan based football team play
Aberdeen on the TV. Unsurprisingly his lottery ticket
didn’t come up either!
Innellan having lost the toss were
asked to field. As it happened this was a result that took
their fancy. Therefore, with a desire not shared by the
sheep grazing in the outfield the Innellan team sprang into
action.
Actually if you use any of the words in
the last paragraph and rearrange them into any order you
want the resultant sentences will almost certainly be true.
Innellan’s main tactic in the field
seemed to be to keep the ever reliable but slow scoring
Lyburn at the wicket and concentrate the bowlers’ energy on
trying to get out the faster scoring and potentially match
winning batsmen at the other end. Els and Singh’s opening
spells being as frugal as Happy Hour at The Royal Bar.
With the wickets of Lewis and Manson
falling, with the total on a conservative 47 after 19 overs,
to the bowling of Henry and Marshall caught by El Sabba and
MacKellar respectively this tactic seemed to have some
merit.
That was until skipper Marshall
(presumably the brains behind the scheme) sprinted gazelle
like across the out field and sent in an Exocet like throw a
full 50 yards to hit the stumps to run out Lyburn for 14 and
leave Mid-Argyll on 48 for 3 after 20 overs.
This brought big hitters Turner and
Lister to the crease who took the score onto 91. The
innings finishing in the final over with the dismissal of
Brocklehurst and the total on 108.
After tea the Innellan team decided the
best way to achieve victory was to stay in and slowly
accumulate the runs. With this in mind Marshall and vice
Captain Els sent in Johnston along with Dupre-Smith (out for
1); Walker (out for 1) and Barclay (out for 1). Innellan 19
for 3.
Seeking a man who had declared that he
would like to play this holding role Marshall turned to
Nirmal Singh… who had disappeared. In desperation he sent
in the more free scoring Mike Clark and told Henry to pad up
in anticipation of more disasters to come.
Meanwhile Nirmal was feasting his mind
on things cultural by climbing the adjacent Dunadd hill fort
responding to the cry of “Excuse me old chap but if you
wouldn’t mind coming down here we have a cricket match to
save” or words to that effect by keeping on climbing.
Meanwhile out on the pitch Johnston and
Clark were putting together a match winning partnership with
a succession of boundaries and well constructed dropped
catches before Johnston was out for 38 with the score on 70.
It then looked as if Clark and Robin
“Two Dumps” Henry had decided that the time had come to put
together a match losing partnership as they danced around
the middle of the pitch as if trying to complete a two man
Strip the Willow while willing the Mid-Argyll fielders to
run them out. Henry survived this but was caught shortly
after; chipping one to mid-on for 7.
With Innellan 104 for 5 MacKellar
joined Clark in the centre to knock up the last 5 runs for
victory and the cultured Mr Singh took off his pads.
With Innellan 104 for 6 MacKellar
rejoined his team on the boundary and the cultured Mr Singh
hurriedly put on his pads before going out to help Clark hit
up the final runs for victory.
Innellan’s total 112, with Clark top
scoring on 44 not out. All in all a good hard fought
friendly played in a good spirit by two well matched teams.
Although there is no doubt that Mid-Argyll’s skipper, top
bowler and quality batsman Brocklehurst’s broken finger
helped Innellan’s cause. That’s what happens when you
challenge God and celebrate an England victory over the
Aussies in an Ashes test!
Next match the Glen Striven Cup at
Knockdow on Sunday 21st at 2pm.
INNELLAN BAG THE MINNOWS
Innellan vs Campbeltown Sunday 7th August
Campbeltown was looking its very best
last Sunday: sun blazing; the tumbleweed blowing through and
the occasional alien from Star Wars staring at the team
convoy as Innellan Cricket Club arrived for the match with
Argyll newcomers Campbeltown Cricket Club.
Campbeltown had been having a torrid
season as participants in the new Argyll and Bute (and
Arran) League with clubs paying scant regard to their virgin
status. Thus Innellan found themselves in the almost unique
position of being favourites to win a cricket match.
The Innellan team were pleasantly
surprised with the setting for the match and some of the
team were particularly impressed with the flock of sheep in
the next field as skipper Marshall defied the law of
averages and again lost the toss and was put in to bat by
Cambeltown skipper Evans.
Opening the batting with Gilles and Els
was an experiment that had its good points and its bad
points. Els was good and Gilles was bad. Gilles showing
that no matter how much the club coaches tell him how to
swing a cricket bat he can defy them and give the opposition
several chances to catch him before he was finally caught
and bowled by Angus for 9.
Els having batted superbly for his 32
joined his partner in the pavilion the very next over
leaving Innellan on 45 for 2.
This brought together Hundley and El
Sabba. Hundley a man that has been playing cricket since
before the Second World War: El Sabba a man that has been
playing since June. In his enthusiasm to make a formidable
total (and certainly more than Des Barclay) El Sabba broke
one of the club rules and forced John Hundley to run two.
An offence that could have led to a charge of murder, or at
the very least manslaughter.
El Sabba’s concentration and Hundley’s
lungs never really recovered from this and although both
stuck around for a while they had departed with the score on
65. A cameo innings by Robin “The Dump” Henry for 10 left
the partnership of the match at the crease.
First Grant MacKellar and then Des
Barclay began an innings of superlative stroke play with
each of them swishing their wands like a frustrated Harry
Potter to put together a partnership of 55. Barclay finally
out bowled by Wilson for 36.
MacKellar continued for the last couple
of overs taking his total to 34 not out and Innellan’s total
to 141.
After tea Innellan looked to see how
they could play the second innings in a manner that would
allow them to win but not in a manner that discourage this
new team.
However, mild mannered Malky Dunn,
obviously with one eye on the bowling trophy became “Madman”
Malky Dunn the Demon Bowler and ripped through the
Cambeltown top order with a ruthlessness that few imagined
him capable of. With bowling figures of 4 overs 4 wickets
for 9 runs skipper Marshall removed the “Madman” and brought
in what he imagined the easier touch of El Sabba and
Marshall minor.
Niall Marshall bowled well if a little
aggressively without taking wickets. El Sabba, however,
taking a leaf from Dunn’s book bowled Cambeltown’s pint
sized middle order taking the wicket’s of both 12 year olds.
Desparately looking for a sportsman
amongst his team and with South African fast bowler Els
snorting in the outfield like a pit bull terrier on a leash
the Innellan skipper turned to Barcley and Gilles to try and
give the inexperienced Campbeltown batsmen a chance.
Barcley showing the sort of
sportsmanship that rugby players are renowned for helped
himself to another two of the Campbeltown wickets.
Campbeltown having batted for a very
creditable 24 overs were clearly frustrating the Innellan
drinkers and skipper Marshall was pressured into bringing
fast bowlers Els and Henry on to clear up the tail.
An excellent day out against a team of
considerable potential bodes well for future fixtures
between these Argyllshire rivals.
Next fixture on Sunday 14th
against (never trust a man frae) Mid Argyll away .
Cricket Club’s Nightmare Begins.
Innellan vs Arran Sunday 31st July
Not so much a cricket match
more a soap opera. That seems to be the only reasonable
description of Innellan’s visit to the Isle of Arran last
Sunday to play Sannox.
The day started with the non-appearance
of Innellan’s star touring player, “Desperate” Dan Semple.
Had he had been celebrating too much the night before? Had
he got lucky? Had he slept in? Was he still alive?
Worryingly the questions remained unanswered. But more of
that later.
Hastily the Innellan management
team of Marshall and Higgins convened on the 8am Western
Ferry and phoned “Buffalo” Bill Nelson. It was put to him
that he could leave home in Inveraray ASAP drive to Clonaig,
south of Tarbert, catch the ferry to Lochranza and hitchhike
round the island to Sannox in time for the 11.30 start.
A still clearly hungover or sleeping
“Buffalo” said that he would see what he could do. But more
of that later.
Driving an almost fuel empty mini-bus
our heroes headed south to Ayrshire in search of a petrol
station that sold LPG. With none in sight and not enough
fuel to do the jump from Fairley to Ardrossan the entire
team met on the forecourt of the filling station and it was
agreed by a majority that the mini-bus could be filled with
either LPG or diesel.
With the diesel gun going into the
petrol tank some bright spark suggested that it might be
worth reading the instructions in the manual. Two minutes
later and 15 litres of lead-free petrol added
the team was on its way to Ardrossan.
Club treasurer Higgins came out from
the ferry terminal with a smile on his face having saved £14
by negotiating a group outing ticket. The only drawback
being that one of the team would have to go through on child
tickets. These were foisted on 50+ “Baby-Face” Mike Clark.
Last week’s star opening batsman
McKissock made it clear that he was expecting skipper
Marshall to field when he won the toss by cracking open a
bottle of finest vintage port on deck, thereby bypassing
Scotland’s archaic Sunday licensing laws.
With a healthy spring in their step the
Innellan team arrived in Sannox for the match. “Useless
tosser” Marshall lost the toss and was put into bat.
Mckissock, clearly full of confidence stepped to the crease
bat in hand and returned to the pavilion 11 balls later bat
under arm bowled by Brooks for one. Anyone for port?
Niall Marshall and Campbell Johnston
followed swiftly afterwards. Innellan 5 for 3. Amidst this
catastrophic start Innellan skipper “Useless” chipped in
with an innings of quite monumental boredom. He was in for
14 overs (that is almost 100 deliveries) and managed just 3
runs. The Sannox team now struggling to stay awake barely
noticed Clark accumulating some runs at the other end and
the score sneaked on to 25.
By the time they came out of this
soporific state Clark and Gilles had taken the score on to
81. Clark with a well constructed 47 and Gilles with an
extremely valuable and responsible knock of 10. Robin Henry
replaced Clark and he too was scoring well. Something he
had notably failed to do in the previous fortnight while in
Spain with Cowal Europe.
Skipper Marshall was looking desperately to the horizon for
any sign of “Buffalo” appearing to help the tail end batsmen
put on a few more runs when the following text message
appeared…
“Had dreadful
nightmare. Dreamt I was asked to play for you guys at short
notice. Used all sorts of transport but couldn’t make it.
Night, night, BN”
Marshall and Higgins reconvened in an
attempt to solve the problem of filling the chasm left by
Semple and Nelson’s absence.
Step forward Charlotte Gilles
Innellan’s pint sized 14 year old mascot who padded up and
took to the crease making the Innellan team instantly forget
both absentees as she batted through the innings remaining
not-out while Henry managed to run himself out at the other
end for 22, a total of 111.
Innellan having been victims of the
sprightly bounce of the Sannox wicket very sportingly sent
in fast bowler Robin Henry to attempt to unsettle the
openers by having the ball fizzle about their throats. A
tactic, which combined with Clark’s leg spin, reduced them
to something like 11 for 4 after 8 overs. The score being
not altogether clear as it would seem that one of the Sannox
team’s tactics is to keep the score book so badly that it is
difficult to work out what the score is.
Barclay then took the ball for Innellan
and proceeded to be hit to the four corners of the ground
before he managed to beat the batsman round his legs and put
the Innellan wicket keeper, Niall Marshall, into a concussed
daze and finish his day early. Barclay’s figures in the book
reading four overs bowled for 1 wicket at the loss of 11
runs. Memory, however, is that the figures were nearer four
overs bowled for no wickets at a cost of 40 runs.
What is certain is that Mason and
McAlistair put on a good partnership that by the drinks
interval left Sannox some forty-odd runs to get for victory.
What followed will go down in the
annals of the club’s history as skipper “Useless”, along
with Clark, Johnston and the inestimable Gilles worked
together to restrict the batting to, according to the
scoreboard, 111 runs with one wicket to get.
Robin Henry bowling the second last
over came in to try and tie the match when the Sannox umpire
controversially awarded a wide ball and the match to Sannox.
However, the story is not yet over as
the scorebook has left three possible results. Two of which
have Innellan as winners! The club is now seeking a good
lawyer on a no win no fee basis to have the result reversed.
As for “Desperate” Dan Semple; who
cares? Any other 14 year old girls looking for a game of
cricket?
Next match this Sunday away to
Cambeltown at the pitch at the end of the universe.
Records Tumble as Innellan Banjo Cairndow
Innellan vs Cairndow 24th July
Innellan Cricket Club
set off last Sunday to Cairndow (pronounced Cairndoo) with
the tune of “Dueling Banjos” resounding in their ears to
resume local rivalries with their country cousins.
On their arrival they
were to be shown photographs of Cairndow’s record breaking
score of 340 for 8 achieved the previous week against
Inverclyde Cricket Club. A tactic clearly meant to
intimidate Innellan.
In the face of this
intimidation skipper for the day Higgins relegated Club
Captain Marshall to the position of umpire in the hope that
by bribing him with a bottle of Islay malt Innellan would
not be subjected to the sort of humiliation dealt out to
England by Australia.
With perfect weather and
playing conditions (a credit to the work done by the
Cairndow ground staff) skipper Higgins won the toss and
elected to bat.
Opening with the potent
force of McKissock and Niall Marshall Innellan gradually
built a solid partnership reaching 50 without loss after 9
overs. Marshall despite being told to defend his wicket
decided to take the attack to Cairndow scoring the majority
of the early runs. This partnership then matured with
McKissock scoring freely with a combination of elegant
boundaries and well held poses. McKissock went on to pass
his half century with an outstanding 6 off the bowling of
“I’ve Only Ever Wanted To Play For Cairndow” Bill “The
Nomad” Nelson.
McKissock seeing the
ball as clear as a pint of Coniston Bluebird then moved
rapidly towards his first ever century only to be deprived
by his own lack of responsibility top edging a ball which
sat up saying “hit me hard”. He was caught by Aussie ringer
and Cairndow captain Tiernie off the bowling of Lunn for 87.
Innellan 143 for 1 a
record first wicket patrnership.
Marshall then joined
McKissock in the pavilion (tent) with 2 added to the total
playing the most irresponsible of shots paddling his bat as
if conducting an orchestra to a straight one from Lunn.
Overseas guest and
part-time Fifer Lew James joined Campbell Johnston who had
naively admitted to top Cairndow and Vale of Leven bowler
Dalby that he was suffering from a painful foot.
Ever the sportsman Dalby
then proceeded to bowl around the wicket straight at the
aforementioned foot. A tactic immediately adopted by every
other Cairndow bowler. This partnership added 14 runs before
CJ was caught and bowled by Dalby while dancing around the
crease.
Shaun Els joined “Uncle”
Lew and soon runs were flowing like the cans of Kissy’s
McEwan’s Export with a combination of boundaries and well
run singles before Els was caught by Wilkinson off the
bowling of Clark for 13.
Innellan 205 for 4 off
36 overs.
Playing his first match
for as many weeks Andy “Better World’s Are Us” Gilles added
8 runs off 2 balls including an imperious cover drive for 4
off the first delivery. This matched only by trying the same
off his third ball faced, clean bowled by Clark.
Paul “Captain
Capitalism” Smith then joined James for the remaining 4
overs adding 47 runs including an all too rare foray up the
wicket by Smith to hit an outstanding if not impudent 6 off
the final ball of the penultimate over. James finishing on a
valuable if not unexpected 53 not out.
Innellan finishing their
40 overs on a record of 252 for 5 with umpire Marshall
earning his whisky with 26 extras and controversially no LBW
decisions.
A splendid “T in the
Tent” was enjoyed by both teams especially “Two Teas” Islam
who in true rugby club fashion brought and ate all his own
pies!!
A nervous skipper,
Higgins, clearly feeling Innellan were still 100 runs short
of a challenging total for the in form, record breaking
Cairndow batting line up immediately opened the bowling with
the best he had at his disposal, Els and Smith.
After 10 overs Cairndow
were reduced to 32 for 2 wickets. Dalby being harshly
adjudged to be LBW by their own umpire and skipper Matty
Tiernie a decision that can only be explained as showing off
to opposing umpire Marshall.
Lew James and Des
Barclay (with an excellent display of off-break bowling)
then took up the attack and this effective spell held
Cairndow to 87 for 2 at drinks.
A more relaxed Higgins
then turned to Johnston and Dunn who between them ripped
into the heart of Cairndow’s middle order leaving them at
118 for 5. This included the most spectacular of caught and
bowled by CJ defying pain and launching himself off his
injured left foot to remove dangerous batsman Wilkinson.
Malky replenished by his
bottle of Arran Blonde not to be outdone took 2 wickets. The
first being Nelson who top edged the worst delivery of the
day and the second being Lunn off the second worst delivery
of the day. Even his team mates were embarrassed to
congratulate him.
Higgins with the scent
of victory sent in Els who completed 7 overs taking two more
well earned wickets to give him the consistently good
figures of 3 wickets for 8 runs.
The remainder of the
overs were bowled out by Gilles (0 for 6), Higgins (1 for
10), McKissock (1 for 6) and Elsabaa (0 for 10) leaving
Cairndow all out for 158.
Flushed with success of
this unexpected victory Innellan then joined their rivals at
their local hostelry only to be robbed blind by Bill
Nelson’s fund raising raffle which unsurprisingly was won by
Cairndow skipper Tiernie: the mythical bottle of whisky
remaining as safe as the Ashes with an Aussie.
Innellan take to the
seas on Sunday 31st July to take on the might of
Arran at Sannox, followed by the might of Arran brewery in
Brodick.
Innellan vs Holy Cross
Sunday 3rd June
Controversial
cricket club captain Billy Marshall took the words to the
satirical folk song “Fife’s got everything, just the place
for tourists….” to heart and in the interest of protecting
his admirable record of 4 wins out of 5 matches eagerly
packed his car and headed of to God’s Kingdom for a family
holiday. In an uncharacteristic demonstration of solidarity
with their captain the majority of Innellan club members
followed Billy’s lead in abandoning ship leaving only 6
regular players to face the might of Edinburgh league giants
Holy Cross Cricket Club. A makeshift team of 10 players was
made up with the inclusion of 3 members of Cowal Rugby Club
foolishly believing that they might at last reach the dizzy
heights of sporting excellence through chasing a small round
ball around a field rather than a large oval one. Innellan
also benefited from the return of overseas guest player Lew
James who other than marrying into the Marshall family
appears to enjoy good sense and sound judgement.
Breaking with some
ease through a cordon of demonstrators chanting “MAKE POOR
CRICKETING HISTORY!” at the Edinburgh city bypass the
depleted ranks arrived safely at the Arboretum Road stadium
and following a nutritious and health promoting lunch of
double cheeseburgers from the local “Mickey D” took to the
field in time for the 1.00pm bang from Auld Reekie’s canon.
Captain for the day Higgins won the toss and elected to bat.
A steady start from
openers Johnston and Hundley saw Innellan score 16 runs
before the elder statesman of our team was bowled chasing
one he really knows he shouldn’t have!! Newcomer Murdo Ross
from the rugby club then arrived at the crease and showed us
that a good education never goes to waste scoring 14 before
being bowled by old fox and top spin bowler F Malik, father
of 3 other Maliks also playing for our hosts. Uncle Lew then
joined Johnston adding an outstanding partnership of 60 runs
before CJ was caught of the bowling of Q Malik for 40 runs.
Enter rugby guest
“Des” Barclay to the crease only to return for a duck
falling to future test bowler Ozzie Malik aged 11 years.
With the score now on 104 Shuan Els took guard and picked up
the pace adding 30 runs before Lew James was clean bowled by
Ellis. With 2 overs remaining Innellans tail set out to add
as many runs as possible Elsabha adding 1 run, Robin Henry
still dreaming about in-car entertainment DJ Shassy out for
a duck to Ellis and Grant McKellar being caught of the
bowling of Ellis last ball of the innings. Els was 21 not
out, a sound start to a good day for the Bok, and Innellan
finished on 145 for 8 at tea.
Captain Higgins
rallied his team to watch Roger Federer win the gents
singles at Wimbeldon hoping that this would inspire them on
to greater glory ……… an act of inspired leadership or
perhaps just plain desperation ?
Opening with the
bowling partnership of Els and James Innellan made a good
start in defending their total and after 10 overs Holly
Cross were 15 for the loss of 1 wicket, 11 year old
substitute fielder Ozzie Malik running out his dad for a
duck (Innellan with Ozzie’s welfare in mind left the young
man with CHILDLINE’s telephone number). Second stream
bowlers for the day Robin Henry and “Des” Barclay took the
attack to Holly Cross and by the 20th over had
held them to 57 runs for 3 wickets. Opener Fraser
spectacularly run out by a deadly throw from 20 yards by Els
and the dangerous Q Malik caught by Lew James off the
bowling of Barclay, a man now at ease with himself having
found a game where you’re not penalized for throwing the
ball forward.
Johnston and Murdo
Ross then had the difficult task of containing Holy Cross’s
experienced middle order and despite a sound display of
bowling were unlucky not to take wickets. Captain Higgins
then reintroduced opening bowlers Els and James and pressure
soon mounted on the host team when “Des” continued a fine
debut by reciprocating James by catching Pickering off his
bowling and with Els bowling top league batsman Smith for
32, Holy Cross now 98 for 5 off 29 overs. Ellis was then
trapped LBW from the accurate bowling of Els and “Des” acted
out some form of revenge on the Malik family by bowling S
Malik for 12.
At 126 for 7 Holy
Cross required 20 runs from the remaining 5 overs and with 3
wickets in hand. Unfortunately for Captain Higgins Holy
Cross had played the match in the true spirit of friendly
cricket and had held back the potent batting attack of
Biswas and Aussie all rounder Bonfield who despite tight
bowling from Barclay and Johnston found the runs with 7
balls to spare.
All in all this was
a great performance from Innellan who continue to bat, bowl
and field beyond the expectations of a team rarely averaging
an age less than 45 years. Special mention must go to the 3
guests from Cowal Rugby Club, Murdo for his batting and
fielding, “Des” for his bowling and fielding and Islam for
his tireless running in the field as well as his display of
road safety on the return ferry journey (but that’s a story
to be embellished at the club dinner!). Grant McKellar gave
his third consecutive display of outstanding wicket-keeping,
surely only a matter of time before Aberdeenshire come
calling now that Innellan reject Flanagan has been dropped
from first team cover. Lew James gave his usual high display
of good all round cricket – surely NHS Argyll and Clyde
should recruit this man into their health team in Cowal?
This is our second
match against Holy Cross a team filled with talent, ability
as well as most of the Malik family. Thanks go to their club
and particularly Captain McGill for ensuring a good
competitive game of cricket on an excellent playing surface.
Clear motorway saw
the Innellan team safely on the 10.00pm ferry and a
thoroughly enjoyable day out was completed by a successful
coin collection made to ensure that under pressure club
captain Marshall can afford to extend his family holiday for
another week.
Cricket resumes at
Castle toward on Sunday 10th July when Innellan
host regular favorites Cumbernauld …… join us at 1.00pm, you
know it makes sense!!!
Innellan
Roll Continues
Innellan vs Inverclyde Sunday 26th June
Gourock in the sunshine. Cricket on
the meadow. The tinny sound of the ice cream vans playing
Scott Joplin in the background and the emergency services’
sirens rushing to the hospital. The scene was set for the
cricketing clash of the week as Innellan faced up to the
might of Inverclyde’s friendly team (average age 12).
Having lost the toss yet again and
fully justifying the team’s opinion that their skipper is
indeed a useless tosser Marshall asked the rejuvenated
McKissock and Dupre-Smith to prepare for battle and open the
batting. A ploy that worked well until Dupre-Smith wafted
his wand all round the ball with a simply dreadful shot that
had him bowled for 7.
Despite his protestations that the ball
had spun in a quite extraordinary manner making it
impossible for him to put a bat on to it he is not going to
be nominated for the Booker Prize for fiction.
Innellan 20 for 1
Into the fray appeared “Trombones”
Hundley whose nickname clearly refers to his age and not to
his batting average as he disappeared for a scintillating
naught. Innellan 21 for 2.
Sensational all round talent
After a quickly hit 12 Shaun “Two
Ducks” Els rejoined his colleagues in the pavilion to make
way for the sensational all round talent of “Oh Malky, Malky,
Malky, Malky, Malky, Malky, Malky Dunn!”
At the other end McKissock built his
innings methodically by gifting the Inverclyde team at least
five easy opportunities to catch him out. One of the
chances being so easy that a four-year-old child with the
hand eye coordination of a gnat could have caught it.
Fortunately for McKissock and Innellan this was beyond the
capabilities of the Inverclyde fielders and he continued
towards an impressive total of 67. Innellan 107 for 4.
“Oh Malky, Malky, Malky, Malky, Malky,
Malky, Malky Dunn!” was joined at the wicket by Innellan
newcomer and star of the future Islam Elsabaa who went on to
score a hugely impressive 12 while “Oh Malky, Malky, Malky,
Malky, Malky, Malky, Malky Dunn!” nibbled away at singles.
Nirmal Singh with specific instructions
to play carefully and defend his wicket at all costs
proceeded to swing the bat as if he was Tiger Woods swinging
a golf club. Unfortunately, he missed the ball (with the
bat not coming within three feet of it) but the ball did not
miss his centre stump.
Unseemly altercation
There then ensued an unseemly
altercation amongst the Innellan team as those that claimed
that this was the worst shot ever played by an Innellan
player almost came to blows with those that remembered the
halcyon days when such shots were commonplace.
“Oh Malky, Malky, Malky, Malky, Malky,
Malky, Malky Dunn!” now found himself in new territory as a
third new face joined him in the middle. He and Henry
pushed the score on to 128 before he was bowled.
With plenty of overs left and three
wickets standing skipper Marshall gave instructions for the
batsmen to aim for a sound but not overly ambitious total of
170.
He had not, however, reckoned upon the
combined batting talents of McKellar and Johnston. Combined
total 0.
Marshall was left to join the
prolifically scoring Henry. This he did with a knock of
supreme boredom that added one to the total as he hogged the
strike at every opportunity. Henry at the other end was
supremely entertaining for his 26 before he was caught with
the total on 153 all out.
Tea
A tea of outstanding quality was
provided by Inverclyde. The lemon dainties being a
particular favourite of the Innellan team. (Ladies of the
WRI please take note).
The second innings opened with the
Southern hemisphere appealing of Innellan opening bowler
Els. The ferocity of the appeals being such that it had to
be pointed out to him that the batsman was perfectly
entitled to hit the ball with the bat and not be out LBW.
The tightness of the bowling and
fielding was excellent with only 20 runs coming off the
first sixteen overs. Breakthroughs were made with both Els
and Singh taking wickets. This was added to by Dupre-Smith
and Henry both taking a wicket apiece.
Into the attack came Innellan’s all
round sensation: “Oh Malky, Malky, Malky, Malky, Malky,
Malky, Malky Dunn!” Needless to say he took a wicket,
fielded sensationally and had an easy catch dropped by Els.
Was this a desperate attempt by Els to hold on to the
club-bowling trophy by sabotaging his team-mate’s efforts?
Marshall and McKissock took contrasting
wickets.
Marshall’s: magnificently caught in the
covers by Islam Elsabaa in this his first match. He’ll
probably wear appropriate protective gear in his next match!
McKissock’s: coming in off his full 30
yard run up to intimidate Inverclyde’s up and coming batsman
(11 year old Matthew).
With the last Cal-Mac ferry now looming
your correspondent had the option of watching Innellan
cruise to victory or have a couple of pints at the Albert.
Well no contest there.
Next match this Sunday away to Holy
Cross Edinburgh.
GARDEN NOT ROSY FOR INNELLAN
Innellan vs RBGE Sunday
8th May
Innellan Cricket Club travelled the
breadth of the country to defend the Centenary Trophy
against Royal Botanic Gardens, Edinburgh last Sunday.
Amidst blustery sunshine and what looked like a good batting
track keeping his 100% record intact was uppermost in
skipper Marshall’s mind.
The omens were good as he once again
lost the toss and was invited to bat.
In keeping with the spirit of the day
Innellan opened with Hundley and Johnston – combined age
nearer a century and a half than a century.
Their combined total 4 runs for 2
wickets.
Higgins defended stoutly (as only he
can) as the total raced on to 5 before he too joined the
openers in the pavilion.
The rot stopped, at least temporarily,
when Marshall (minor) joined Innellan’s overseas
professional “Uncle” Lew James at the crease. A solid
partnership of 35 developed before young Marshall was caught
with a terrific catch at first slip by Wilkie off the
bowling of Collin.
With half the Innellan wickets down and
only 40 runs on the board Skipper Marshall turned to the
ever-reliable Andy Gilles to provide the support for “Uncle”
Lew.
Cometh the hour, cometh the man and
goeth he back to the pavilion three balls later bowled by
Collin.
Vice-captain Clark provided some of the
support needed for James and helped push the score on to 65
before a full-blooded drive to a ball that was as wide as
the Firth of Forth was caught and bowled by Kumar.
Shaun Els, fresh from his honeymoon had
a smile on his face as he joined James at the crease. A
smile that remained as he and “Uncle” Lew pushed the score
along to 80 before James was out LBW for 42.
So clearly was “Uncle” Lew out that he
was walking towards the pavilion (a dilapidated metal bus
shelter) while Innellan umpire Campbell Johnston was still
thinking up an excuse for reaching a not out decision to the
only link in Innellan’s batting chain.
Robin Henry, used the rugby club dance
as the reason for his failure to score more than 1 run.
Although it was one more than he managed to score at the
dance.
The game then had the sight of Dan
Semple walking to the crease to face the opening RBG fast
bowler Clench while skipper Marshall, feigning injury,
batted last. Needless to say Semple returned to the bus
shelter without troubling the scorer.
Els, still smiling, followed shortly
thereafter boasting about scoring 10 times again!
Marshall (senior) 1 not out. Innellan
85 all out.
Having eaten all the pies at tea
Innellan took to the field plotting the best way to defend
what appeared to be a totally inadequate score. Marshall
and Clark looked to the heavens and prayed for an extended
torrential downpour that would allow them to retain the
trophy.
What followed was a game for the
connoisseur. In other words boring to watch but riveting to
participate in. Unless you were rookie Semple who was
beginning to wonder why he was standing freezing in a field
on the banks of the Forth with people hurtling this solid
red missile at him.
Els opened the bowling and made two
important breakthroughs in his second and third overs
bowling both Amjid and Wilkie. At 8 for 2 RBG were
struggling. Gilles was providing good support from the
other end with some very tight length and line deliveries.
Els should have had a third wicket during this spell but
Higgins dreaming of Kirkcaldy, Raith Rovers and nights by
the fire in his baffies dropped a catch normally well within
his range.
RBG dug in and slowly took their total
on to 63 before the next Innellan breakthrough. However,
these runs used up another 18 overs (including a superb
eight over spell by Robin Henry) and although needing only
another 23 runs to win RBG were barely ahead of the run
rate.
The game now began to turn towards
Innellan as first RBG top scorer Parker had to retire hurt;
then Els bowled Vijay before taking the catch of the day off
of the bowling of James. To top this the rain began to fall
in torrential showers.
However, into every cloud a little sun
must shine and in a sun drenched Edinburgh evening RBG
batsmen Clench and Collin knocked up the last handful of
runs to give their team a comfortable 5 wicket victory.
Next Sunday it is back to Fortress
Toward as Innellan defend their undefeated home run in their
third game of the season against Oban.
|
